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Hi, I'mKevin Shoffner

One, Two, Three – Words of 2014

As 2013 came to a close, I was spending a bit of time deliberating on what my previous year brought me and what I could expect from 2014. As a person who believes karma is real, I still do not quite have enough faith in it to think you can just slide along being nice without some direction, and all things will just come my way. This year I wanted to approach it by trying to set the stage… This year I am shaping my year using a few actionable words to my vocabulary to help guide me.

This, to me, is not the same as doing New Year’s Resolutions, so don’t think this is just another blog about resolutions. Heck, I don’t trust myself with those any more than I trust myself with diets. Instead, I wanted to at least give myself some guidance, some would say “goals,” for 2014.

When I started making my list of goals guidance tools, I remembered some of my inspiring fellow bloggers (Brian GardnerCooldeb, and Bobbi Klein) words of thought, and decided it was time for me to put things out there.

Here are my Words of 2014:

Fair

For years, I have programmed myself to be dependable and fair to get things done if I had agreed to do those things. You know: being on time for something, getting a project done, helping out a friend when I didn’t have the resources to help. Not that this is a bad thing on its surface, but dig a little deeper.

give-powerSome time during 2013, a weight started to press on me causing me to realize something. Being so dependable for others all the time had caused me to not been very dependable to myself.  I would make sure I bent over backwards to make sure others would have something done or feel a particular way, but it usually meant there was a hardship on me. I didn’t get “my things” done, or my feelings would not be expressed. With that, maybe I would clean up a mess for somebody and delay something of mine, but then afterwards, I would tend to be “humble” about it or not take credit for the hard work I had done. Basically, I would discount my time and my worth.

Wait a minute? This old mindset had to change!  My time and efforts are important and valuable, and others need to realize this.

If I am taking the time to help you – you should appreciate my efforts.

Right? If not, doesn’t that just discount myself just like I’ve allowed others to do to me? I’m not saying I want to get honored for every good thing I do, but I just don’t want others to take advantage of my good heart.

 

Ownership

I’m a nerd at heart, plan and simple. I’ve known that for my entire life. I enjoy sitting around talking about computers, video games, camera specs, and PMS colors (BTW for all of you who know the inside joke: No bi#Ch, stop taking it so personal because I am not referring to a female condition. So shut up!). Even though I have known about my nerdiness for years I still wanted to “just fit in” or be accepted by any particular group instead of being comfortable in my skin. I tried to find comfort through the clothes I wore, people to associate with, or just generally becoming a chameleon as the situation called for it. But why?  Why have I tried to be somebody different than who I am? Why am I putting so much energy into not being true to myself? Not being true to myself only meant I couldn’t be true to those closest to me.

if you cannot love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else - RuPaulIt wasn’t until mid 2013 that I started even trying to do something about this. Now, look around my blog – I’ve really started opening up and becoming much more transparent about who I am. I talk about geeky stuff, I talk about my interests in cooking and doing random Do-It-Yourself projects, and I talk about my medical condition. I have opened up to myself and those around me can see me for who I am.

So, If I want to listen to Trampled by Turtles /Ralph Stanley / Avett Brothers then switch to Crash Test DummiesAC/DC LMFAO, I just will do it… If I just want to dance in public or sing in my yard while mowing, I am just going to do it. If one weekend I want to do something off Pinterest (or God forbid actually make create something just to pin there) like make candles or homemade laundry detergent, but then want to go off and enjoy nature, then I think I just will.

These things might seem random to others, but these things make me feel creative, and happy, which provides much enrichment in my life.

 

Open

This will have many meaning to me moving forward, but the great thing is I can do so much with this word.

  • I will be looking for ways to get out in the “open” more and find the beauty all around me. Enjoy the sounds and sites we are all blessed with, yet take for granted. I am too plugged in most weeks, but love being outdoors. It’s time to open my windows and my mind and get out more. In the last few years I have traveled many places for the first time. Let’s hope I continue to keep my eyes “open” and my mind just as “open”.
  • I have so much in my life, I need to be able to “open” my arms to others and give some of what I am blessed with. It’s amazing when I look around at how much I have, and what I really can give.
  • Be more “open” to hearing and receiving people’s feelings, thoughts, and criticisms. Give opinions when asked, because people who ask think highly enough of you to ask. Just because they may not go with your opinion doesn’t mean anything. It wasn’t right or wrong.
  • Become more “open” about my medical condition. Although this also falls under my newfound “ownership” in being comfortable with who I am, I still need to be more open about things as well. Since I spent the majority of my life running for the conversations, this is going to take a lot of practice for me. I don’t like talking about myself, but there are things I need to say. It may take me a while to get things out, but I will get better about it as time goes on.

Look at situations for all angles and you will become more openLook, in summary the goal I have for myself (and hope you would consider thinking about) moving forward is this:

Be honest with yourself, take credit for your accomplishments because they are awesome, and remember we only live once (as far as I know) so be yourself and do what you love doing… Awesomeness will become you.

Have you thought about:

 

Comments are welcome on this, as always.

4 comments
  • Sherri MacCheyne
    Sherri MacCheyne | January 11, 2014

    What amazing insight!

    • k.shoffner
      k.shoffner | January 11, 2014

      Thanks Sherri

  • cooldeb
    cooldeb | January 11, 2014

    Fair. I want that for you. (Get me? Says client cooldeb.com.). Ownership. I LOL’d on PMS and I want to journey with you in heart, mind, spirit, soul and prayer on the medical journey. One of my three words is inquisitive so I shall. GREAT post and thanks for the link love. Preesh.

  • 3 Words of 2015, by Kevin Shoffner | January 21, 2015

    […] the post “One, Two, Three – Words of 2014“, I explained that I was not going to have New Year Resolutions/Goals, but instead put 3 […]

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